April 15, 2013

37 of 65

Healing – Part 2

After the removal of my tonsils and a bad case of Asian flu, both while in elementary school, I stayed out of hospitals – except to visit a patient or pick up my wife, Cathy, a hospital nurse – for nearly 40 years. I would like to have gone longer, but the human body has frailties.

In early 1996, I was moving office furniture and suffered what I thought was a muscle strain in my lower abdomen. I babied the injury for a few days and it seemed to improve. However, when I tried running again or doing any lifting, the pain returned. After several weeks of no improvement, I did some research and diagnosed myself as having an inguinal hernia. I knew I would need to see a doctor to confirm the diagnosis.

We had been living in the mountains outside of Idaho Springs, Colorado for the past three years and I had not gone to a doctor during that time. I did not know who to contact, so I returned to a physician in Wheat Ridge, more than 30 miles away, who I had last seen several years before. The exam took only a few seconds – the old turn your head and cough; yep, it’s a hernia. The doctor referred me to a surgeon, as surgical repair was the only treatment.

The surgeon was an older gentleman who did a slightly more extensive examination to confirm the diagnosis. He explained that he had performed literally thousands of these operations. He described how modern medicine uses surgical mesh to strengthen the hernia site and prevent recurrence. I thought it odd this man did not look directly at me when we were talking. Other than that, he seemed a fine doctor and I proceeded with the operation.

The day after the surgery, Cathy, against her better judgment, drove me to my office to pick up some work to do while recuperating at home. I was in good shape from running regularly and doing t’ai chi each day. Within ten days, I was able to walk, albeit slowly, more than a mile up the mountain near our house. The surgeon was impressed with his fine result.

Two weeks after the surgery, on Memorial Day, I was at the office, working to get caught up, when I felt a pain in my abdomen. Nothing serious. My body telling me I should take it easy. I went home to spend the rest of the day with my family, and then retired early. I woke around midnight with sharp pain in my chest and my side. I tried to make it go away by walking and doing mild stretching. That didn’t help. Cathy was concerned it might be a heart attack. The hospital was a 45 minute drive down the mountain, and she thought we should head there immediately in case her concerns were correct.

We woke the children and drove to Denver, going a little above the speed limit. The best way to avoid waiting in a crowded emergency room is to come in with chest pain. Within minutes I was connected to tubes and cuffs and monitors. Blood was drawn and analyzed. Two hours later the doctor said there was no heart attack and she sent me away with instructions to contact my regular doctor.

The next day I made an appointment at our local Idaho Springs clinic. I had never seen that physician, but I wanted someone closer than my old doctor in Wheat Ridge.

While riding to the hospital and lying in the emergency room bed, I had time to think about my situation. It seemed, at least to me, that what I was experiencing must be related to the surgery. I called the surgeon before I saw the local doctor and asked if this could be a reaction to the mesh he had used. He said no.

When I saw the new doctor, I asked if he thought the mesh or something else from the surgery could cause the pain. He did not believe so, and said I should first be concerned about my heart. He referred me to a cardiologist – and over the next few months to a gastroenterologist, a neurologist, a rheumatologist, with tests and scans and x-rays. Each of those specialists found some minor defect in my body – I was nearly 50, after all; not as young as I used to be. Each time some potential problem was pointed out, my doctor attempted a pharmaceutical fix. I took drugs I knew I didn’t need on the off chance that they might help.  Mostly, they created new problems, as “side effects” of drugs are wont to do.

I became disenchanted with t’ai chi because my health had failed despite my practice. I quit doing it.

The pain and accompanying muscle spasms did not leave for months. They moved from place to place; they became more intense or subsided; but would not leave. My most interesting “diagnosis” came from a rheumatologist who found that I had “atypical fibromyalgia, with a functional overlay.” In other words, he said there was unusual pain in my muscles and fibrous tissues, which was partly psychological. A reasonable description, perhaps; not much of a diagnosis.

As time passed, I looked for something other than the traditional drug-based allopathic approach. I was treated by an osteopath and a chiropractor. I tried Oriental Medicine. I felt I was improving, and I began to understand that my health is my responsibility. I needed to do more to heal myself.

I studied Reiki and Pranic Healing, Huna and Shamanic Healing. I returned to my t’ai chi practice. I worked on my body and my mind with these alternatives, and I felt my energy increase and my health return.

When our son Michael decided to go out for the high school cross country team, I found it no longer hurt when I tried to run so I began training with him. Soon, I felt whole. I felt healed.

Several years later, the medical establishment recognized that surgical mesh does cause allergic reactions or nerve or tissue damage in some patients. The FDA ordered recalls of some types of mesh. It is now estimated that as many as 20% of patients experience chronic pain after a hernia repair with mesh.

If the surgeon had explained to me that he intended to take a sterilized piece of GoreTex ® (that had never been made into a coat) and sew it into my abdomen, I probably would have hesitated before permitting the surgery. That is essentially what the material is, though “surgical mesh” sounds more benign.

I don’t like the fact that I still have something sewn into my body to which I may be allergic. From time to time I experience the kinds of pain and muscle spasms that dogged me after the surgery. Now, though, I understand that all healing is self-healing – physicians and therapists and witch doctors simply try to aid our natural processes – and I am able to use “alternative” tools and techniques to assist in my own process.

I am a healer, just like you.

[Continued]